Loading, Please Wait...

Nicholas at 12:17 AM

Sunday, November 15, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. :D

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING (:

LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS (:

MUACKSZ. HAHAHAHAHA

BYE!

Nicholas at 11:20 PM

Sunday, November 8, 2009

i know i havent been blogging.

not in the mood to,

new song anyway,
hope you like it (:

Mistakes

C#m A E Bm

i'm full of inadequacies,
there's nothing else to see.
i'm full of hopes and dreams,
unfuifilled and missing
this road i've chosen is always empty,
this road i've chosen isn't the one for me

don't share your secrets with me,
i'm just not ready to carry,
your burden when i'm tired of mine,
don't hate me for this cowardice,
i'm afraid things will turn out badly,
i don't need your sympathy
i don't need your sympathy

i'm just alone tonight,
just thinking of somebody,
friends tell me i don't need
you in my life,
i guess they're probably right,
and i'll leave this memory behind

and i say, i dont need you tonight,
i'm wishing things would turn out right,
i can't stand this anymore,
finding the need to get you out of my mind
i'm wishing it won't be true,
i'm wishing it won't be true

i'm just alone tonight,
just thinking of somebody,
friends tell me i don't need
you in my life,
i guess they're probably right,
and i'll leave this memory behind.

now i know i don't keep waiting
hopelessly for a change,
now i know, this thing's over,
and you're not the one for me.

i'm full of inadequacies,
there's nothing else to see.
i'm full of hopes and dreams,
unfuifilled and missing
this road i've chosen is always empty,
i walk it indefinitely.

gahhh me thinks it sucks. :X

Nicholas at 11:33 PM

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

haven't been blogging much, busy.

To survive in this world, we hold close to us those people on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears. But what happens when trust is lost? When all seems lost, the future unknowable, our very existence in peril...all we can do is run.

but where do we run to? i always remember this question.
i guess it's teenage crisis, but this feeling ain't going away.

i should see where my life has been anyway.
primary school, was crap and more crap.
didn't bother much about making friends, didn't bother much about anything, just wanted to get the hell out of a god forsaken school.

i scraped my ass to maris stella, i remembered the "humiliation" as everyone would ask each other about their PSLE scores.
i got 220. so by logic i should never have gone to maris stella. but fate showed me favour and there i was.

secondary school, secondary 1 and 2 went by without any much incident, but secondary 3.
oh those were the times, going to school, playing cards, talking in class, eating in class, skipping class, playing cards, playing LAN, playing more cards, going to SINGpost, and more cool shit we had ever done.

i remembered the broken chair(s), broken OHP, broken windows, broken glass. i would have to say 3G/4G was a class of misfits, for my first impression, but time "bonded" us all together.

first half of secondary 3 went by without much incident, everyone was unfamiliar with each other, i guess we were all hi-bye friends back then.
but the second half of secondary 3, when we could see who was kinda f-ed up, and who wasn't, we grew closer.
it probably isn't the nicest way for us to bond, but it was the best.

secondary 4. i started to have my doubts and fears, since pretty soon everyone would be heading off down their own paths.
but i didn't show it, obviously, it would be too "sentimental" for me.
for the first time in my "social" life, i was happy, and i never wanted to give it up.
SA1 came, we all "mugged", but being lazy, i got crappy results. i didn't really bother much since it wasn't all that important.
when prelims came, i started to "study", but i never had the determination to carry it through.

i remembered, before the first paper started, me and lum came to school early, to revise.
i already had this hunch that i would get my comeuppance. and i remembered talking about lum what about life after secondary school? would we be still as close as friends with all our classmates, or would we be hi-bye friends again?
i didn't exactly say it out, but had to phrase it so that it didn't sound "weird".

the o's would go by rather quickly, with each paper for me getting slightly more challenging than the other(since i didn't put much effort in it)

but i couldn't care less back then, and after the o's we played like we haven't played since sec 3.

when i got my o level results, i had cherished the thought of going on to stage after getting perfect grades, but in my heart i knew it wasn't possible, since i put in nearly little to no effort at all.

when lum got his 6 points(excluding chinese) and went up to stage, i was really happy for him, but i couldn't say the same of myself.

when i got my results, through my form teacher, she said it wasn't bad. and i saw it. there on my paper it said, 15. or in french, quinze.
i felt a lump in my throat(no pun intended.)
i asked the rest how much they got.
single digits, single digits, double digits(LD), single digits.

and then it hit me, the more i tried to keep them close as friends, the more it changes. we still talk though, my secondary school mates.
and i really hope this isn't too "sentimental"

Laugh and the world laughs with you... Cry, and the world looks sheepish and suddenly remembers it had other plans.

well, today the world has other plans.

Nicholas at 4:14 PM

Thursday, October 22, 2009

i know i've been taught all my life to take the blame.

ah what the heck.

school's been alright.

modules getting harder and harder.

and this feeling isn't going away at a rate i much expect it to be.

so many people online, but not the right ones i need to talk to.

why doesn't this FML phase end?

Nicholas at 9:16 PM

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

stop the talking baby or i start walking baby.

hahahaha.

school's been "great" so far.

with less than eager teachers and poor timetable schedules.

there's CELL BIO TMRW =/

ahhh

okay time to sleep D:

done math tutorial ;)

Nicholas at 10:47 PM

Previous Posts

Archives